(Editor’s note:  I am doing some minor housecleaning to my blog.  Mostly I am updating the focus on several of the pages that you see at the top of the blog.  My writing has improved a bit since I started MrVintageMan and I felt that there needed to be some improvements.  However, I don’t want to lose my older writing, so I am converting these pages to posts for posterity.  Be sure to check out the new Beer page here!)

Why I won’t review IPAs.

     I am going to admit right up front that I am not an expert on beers.  I have only been studying craft beers for the past couple of years.  Thus, I am fully aware that I still have much to learn about the different types and styles of beers.

What’s worse than a bee sting to your testicles?  Drinking an IPA…

With that being said, there is one thing I do know about craft beers – I do not like IPAs!  I am well aware that IPAs (India Pale Ales) are really trendy right now.  Go into any liquor store here in Colorado and you’ll end up having to dig into the back of the refrigerator cases to find a beer that is not an IPA.

It’s just that I am not a fan of bitter, over-hopped beers.  I’m more of a smooth, mellow beer kind of a guy. I am partial to wheat beers and wits, milder red ales and Oktoberfest pilsners.  One of my biggest pet peeves is being told by some douche-nozzle that I actually like IPAs but I just don’t realize it.  No, I KNOW I don’t like IPAs you knuckle-head. Yes, I am aware that there are many different types of IPAs with some that are less hoppy than others.  Nevertheless,  I have tried many IPAs and have yet to find one that speaks to me.

I read the following comment on a Washington Redskins fan forum of all places (I’m writing this from memory, so it may not be an exact quote): “IPAs taste like someone shot a cannon full of hops into Sasquatch’s a**hole and he turned around and cr*pped them into your face”.  I don’t dislike IPAs quite that much, but this guy speaks for many of us who just don’t enjoy all that “flavor” in our beers.

IPA drinkers might be masochists…

There have been some studies that suggest that there are a lot of humans who are genetically coded to dislike bitterness.  Which means that a lot of IPA drinkers may be genetically pre-disposed to like all those bitter hops in their beer.  That would make a lot of sense.  However, I personally believe that some of these IPA “lovers” are actually trying to prove to their buddies that they can drink the most bitter beer in the bar.  Remember that fad from a few years ago where guys would eat ever hotter chilis, like habaneros and ghost peppers, to prove how tough they were?  I think a lot of today’s hipster IPA drinkers are doing the same thing.

I recently heard about an IPA that comes in at a whopping 106 IBUs (International Bitterness Units).  Most IPAs fall in the 45-80 IBU range.  Just thinking about drinking a beer with 106 IBUs makes my gag reflex kick in.

So, for those individuals who actually like IPAs, I say more power to you.  If you want to drink cough syrup and pretend it’s beer, well, what you do in the privacy of your own house is your business buddy.  But we don’t drink that sh*t in MY house.

I plan on doing reviews of beers that appeal to me, while trying to keep a open mind and expanding my horizons.   I also plan to use my blog as a way to pass along what I have learned about craft beers.  Kind of a “Beers for Beginners” section.

Hopefully I will get feedback from readers who can make recommendations or help further my education on craft beer and craft breweries.

But there will be no IPA reviews.