Progress is progressing on the front yard renovation, and there are signs that spring really has returned!

Posted on April 21, 2023 by John Kevin Hickey

I finally got the cardboard down on the front yard. For a while there, the Vintage front yard looked a little trashy. I am sure that the neighbors were growing concerned. But now that I have covered the cardboard with mulch, the yard looks a little better. By early June, the grass underneath should be dead, and I’ll be able to start planting.

The neighbors are probably still a little concerned. Hopefully, they will be mollified once the project is complete.

Not very aesthetically pleasing
A friend suggested that all I needed was an old broken toilet, a boxspring, and a car up on jacks to complete the look.
Much better, yes?
Now the hard part begins

Then next step is to install metal edging around the new borders and along the future path. Then the real backbreaking labor begins: digging out the remaining lawn and old garden beds. Much swearing, sweating and cursing is in my future.

I’m going to try and salvage as many plants from the front yard as I can. Plants these days ain’t cheap. I’ve already dug out and divided feather reed grass ‘Karl Foerster’. I’ve planted 12 of the divisions in various containers, where they will bid their time until the front yard is ready for their permanent home. I don’t need 12, but better safe than sorry. Besides, I am sure I will find a place for the ones that don’t make it into the front yard.

The garden stirs

It always amazes me just how fast things change in the garden during the month of April. At the beginning of the month, there are just hints that things are coming back to life. By the middle of the month, tulips, daffodils and hyacinths are already starting to bloom.

Other signs of life are appearing as well. Buds are starting to swell on trees and shrubs. Cool season grasses, such as feather reed grass, are already sending the shoots skyward. Where I live, April is the month of boundless optimism in the garden.

The buds of daffodils getting ready to burst forth into bloom
‘Autumn Joy’ sedum and catmint greening up nicely in the warm spring sun.
Crocuses on the cusp flowering
The grass like foliage of Spanish bluebells mixed in with blue flowers of Siberian forget-me-nots

Species tulips

Last autumn, I planted some species tulips in the old veggie garden. Species tulips are different from the hybrid tulips that are commonly planted in most landscapes. The positive for hybrid tulips is that their blooms are generally big and dramatic.

One downside with most hybrid tulips is that they don’t live that long. The first year they bloom great. The second year, not so impressive. Eventually they just peter out and disappear.

Species tulips are closer genetically to the original tulips from centuries ago, before humans started monkeying around with them. While their flowers tend to be small, species tulips are hardy, they rebloom reliably year after year, and they gradually spread out (naturalize). I’ve never grown species tulips before. But I am quite pleased with the results.

As time goes on, I’ll plant more of these tulips, and eventually the display will become more impressive.

Species tulip (name forgotten)

A success story

Finally, we come to the matter of MrsVintage’s peony. Years ago, MrsVintage was given a division of her grandmother’s peony. We planted it next to the front door and for a long time it did just fine there. But as the years passed, the honey locust in the front grew big and it started shading out the peony. The peony continued to do alright; it bloomed every year, if less robustly than it used to.

Last autumn, realizing that the front door area was going to be razed to make room for the waterwise renovation, I divided the peony and put the divisions in the backyard next to the birdbath. Hopefully in its new and sunnier location it will return to its former glory. I’ll be honest, moving this plant really stressed me out. I was absolutely convinced that I had killed it.

I am happy to report that the peony apparently doing fine and is sending out spears of new growth. Hallelujah!

Spears of new growth on MrsVintage’s heirloom peony

Stay tuned for further updates on the front yard renovation.

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What I have been reading: The Kingdoms of Bone and Thorn

Posted on April 3, 2023 by John Kevin Hickey

The 1990s witnessed the release of several ginormous multivolume fantasy novels, as several authors attempted to outdo J.R.R. Tolkien. The first book in Robert Jordan’s Wheel of Time epic was released in 1990. Wheel of Time was originally supposed to be a six-book series, but it ended up becoming a 14-volume monstrosity that the author died before he could finish writing it. Another author, Brandon Sanderson, had to be brought in to complete the last 3 novels.

In 1996, George R.R. Martin published the first book in his A Song of Fire and Ice saga. Twenty-seven years later the series is still not completed, and it is not looking like it will be finished anytime soon. Martin’s former collaborators have already stated that they will not finish his series for him should he pass away before it is done.

So funny, Tolkien managed to create a still unrivaled masterpiece in just 3 1/2 books (counting the Hobbit).

Kingdom of Thorn and Bone

Both Wheel of Time and A Song of Fire and Ice have been immensely successful. There is no question that they are both well done, if perhaps overlong and bloated. However, there is a series that I believe is just as good as those two, but has unfortunately been overlooked by many fantasy readers. That series is ‘The Kingdom of Thorn and Bone‘ (kingdom of bone and thorn) by Greg Keyes.

Thorn and Bone was a late comer to the fantasy epic fad. It was published between 2003 to 2008, thus was easily overlooked by its bigger brothers. Which is a shame, because this series is well written and intelligent. Mr. Keyes is able to build suspense until the final confrontation with an enemy that threatens destruction of the entire world. There is no “Dark Lord” per se. The protagonist’s enemy is possibly of their own making. I will leave it at that.

Pluses and minuses

To nitpick a bit, while there is plenty of action throughout the series, there are times when the story drags. Not terribly so, however. Also, Mr. Keyes must have been given an a very nice thesaurus at some point in his life, because he tends to be a bit verbose. I had to look up a few words myself.

In addition, the character development is not quite on par with Wheel of Time or Game of Thrones. Don’t get me wrong, we care about the characters and want them to succeed. But I’ve got to give Jordan and Martin credit, they created some truly memorable characters.

Also, the denouement was rather sudden and not completely satisfying. I would have liked to know more about how the characters fared after the climax.

Still, Mr. Keyes has a huge positive over his literary peers. He finished his series while he was still alive!

Kingdom of Thorn and Bone: I highly recommend it.

—————-Interlude————————–

————What’s Next on the Nightstand————————

The Spanish Frontier in North America (The Brief Edition) The Spanish Frontier in North America)

This version of ‘The Spanish Frontier in North America’ by David L. Weber, is an abridged version of his college textbook. Mr. Weber cut out a lot of footnotes and appendices to make this book more accessible to the lay reader.

The author promises that this book will try to be evenhanded in treating the subject. He says he will not shy away from covering the atrocities committed by the Spanish explorers in North America. But he will also try to address positive aspects of the Spanish and their North American frontier.

I’m somewhat fascinated by the role of Spain in the development of the Modern United States. So much of US history I was taught as a youngster focused primarily on the British development. Very little was taught about the French and Spanish impact.

If I feel it is worthy of my august* attentions, I’ll post a review when I’ve finished.

*highfalutin

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Living with anxiety: riding out the storm

Posted on March 20, 2023 by John Kevin Hickey
Image by Tumisu from Pixabay

Approximately 6 years ago I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. More specifically, Generalize Anxiety Disorder, or GAD for short. Once I was diagnosed, it was like a thunderbolt struck me. I immediately realized that I have been overanxious my entire life. Even as a child I was afraid of getting on elevators and walking down stairs. I had no problem going up stairs though. What an epiphany! My doctor said that this is common occurrence among anxiety sufferers. It was so weird for me to learn that not everyone felt the same way I do.

There is no cure or fix for anxiety, simply because there is a small part of everyone’s brain that is dedicated to worrying. It’s a survival mechanism. It’s just that some of us are blessed with a more robust and muscular anxiety center. For we lucky few, we get to live with a more heightened state of alertness all the time! In a legitimately dangerous situation this can be an asset. But in our more sedate and relatively (note that I said relatively) danger-free modern life, it can be a mental klaxon going off constantly for no good reason, leading to immense stress, fatigue and depression.

Survival

Let me give you a fer instance: 15000 years ago, Gronk and his little hunter/gatherer tribe have been busy scrounging for grubs and roots. Perhaps they snagged a bunny or some other meaty treat along the way.

But it’s getting late, and the band needs to find a place to stay for the night. They find a promising cave, but perhaps the cave is already taken by a short-face bear or a pack of dire wolves. Everyone is on high alert.

What luck! There is a vacancy at this stone age motel. The group settles in, starts a fire so they can cook a haunch of wooly mammoth to eat before they bed down for the night. Unfortunately for poor Gronk, he is blessed (cursed?) with a pretty active worry system. So he gets to spend the night ruminating about all sorts of possible dangers, real or imagined.

What if this is a creature’s lair, and it returns in the middle of the night to eat us? What if there is a nest of venomous snakes we didn’t see, and they’re drawn to the heat of the fire? What if it rains and we get flooded out? What if the ground shakes causing rocks to slide down and block our exit? We’ll be trapped!

What if, what if, what if. Anybody who suffers excess anxiety knows the power those two little words can have over our lives.

What can be done?

So, since anxiety can’t be cured, what options are there to help manage it?

Therapy helps. Exercise helps. Mindfulness helps. Journaling helps.

I find gardening and bicycling particularly helpful in dealing with my own anxiety.

Medicines can help, but they often come with side effects. If the anxiety is bad, then the sufferer is often willing to live with the side effects. I do.

All these things help, but they do not fix the problem. There is no fix, However, they can make dealing with anxiety more bearable. I have found Acceptance and Commitment (ACT) therapy to be a very powerful tool. It’s a form of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT), but it does not teach the patient to try and change their thinking. Instead, patients of ACT learn to stop fighting the anxiety and learn to accept it. This means acknowledging the anxiety and yet continuing to live life as best is possible under the circumstances. Don’t let the fear keep you from living.

Or put another way, as those who served in the United States military were told repeatedly, “embrace the suck”.

But sometimes these tools don’t work. Sometimes anxiety takes over and it just won’t let go.

So what then?

A ship on the ocean

I have come to view life as a vast ocean. and I am a ship sailing on that ocean. Sometimes, the ocean is calm and serene and my ship glides smoothly through the waters. Other times, problems arise, clouds scud overhead and the ocean becomes a bit choppy and harder to steer in. This is when my anxiety reaches 4 or 5 on a scale of 10. Rough sailing, but not terribly so.

And then there are times when life turns to shit. Dark clouds loom ominously overhead, gale force winds blow, and the waves are like mountains. This is an 8-10 anxiety storm, a full-on hurricane. The waves wash over me, and all I can do is let them pass, try to head into the storm all while holding on for dear life.

I use all my tools and remind myself that this storm will eventually pass. It may take hours, it may take days, it may even take months.

But it will pass, and then the ocean will be calm once again. For a while anyway. Because I know there will be other storms ahead. But I will weather them when they come, just as I have for the past 60+ years.

Seeking help

So why, after all these years, am I baring my soul to the world now?

Because if there is even the slightest chance that somebody who is suffering from severe anxiety comes across this post and is in despair, I want them to know that there is help! There is hope!

And men, especially older men, it’s important for you to know that it is okay to ask for assistance. We were raised to “tough it out” and to “suck it up”. Bullshit! Nobody, and I mean nobody, will think any less of you for seeking help. Asking for help will not make you “less manly”. Quite the contrary. I have found most people that I have told about my situation have been very supportive.

I am certainly not a hard-ass tough guy. But I served 30 years in the Air Force. I am combat veteran. I deployed to the Middle East numerous times, including 3 deployments to Iraq. I worked the majority of my adult life on fighter jets.

I’ve scuba-dived and rock climbed. I was once able to squat over 500lbs and bench press just shy of 300lbs. I’ve broken bones, torn hamstrings, herniated discs and had more surgeries than I care to count. I’ve endured frostbite, heat exhaustion, concussions, pneumonia and trench foot.

I helped raise two daughters.

So yeah, I’m relatively tough.

And if I can seek out help, so can you.

44,000 American commit suicide every year. We lose 6 veterans to suicide a day! Don’t be a statistic. SEEK HELP!

988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline | Federal Communications Commission (fcc.gov)

Facts about Veteran suicide – VA News

Image by dexmac from Pixabay
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