Image by Bill Kasman from Pixabay
I think that many of us, when we reach a certain age, begin to look at all the clutter in our lives and begin to think “damn, I have a lot of crap!”. Then we also begin to realize, that if we don’t do something about all the crap, our children will be stuck dealing with it after we shuffle off this mortal coil.
Anybody who has ever had to go through a loved one’s belongings after they die knows just how disorienting the whole experience is. On the one hand you have to be ruthless and unsentimental, on the other hand you’re purging someone’s entire life.
My folks “got rid of a lot of stuff” before my mom died. I’m using quotation marks as sarcasm. Because when it was time for my dad to move to assisted living, I could not believe how much crap we had purge to get the house ready to sell. And my folks lived in a tiny, two-bedroom ranch.
When dad passed away, we had to clean out his one room assisted living quarters, and the amount of stuff he squirreled away was still staggering. MrsVintage and I realized that it was time for us to go through our own possessions.
A trend?
I have noticed a couple of popular trends related to decluttering our lives. One is Marie Kendo’s tv show “Tidying Up”. Another is the Swedish practice of “death cleaning”, or decluttering your life in your waning years.
I just want to clarify that this is not a book/tv review. I’ve never watched Tidying Up, nor have I read any books on death cleaning. I have just seen many references to them over the few years, and thought it was interesting that I’m seeing this now that MrsVintage and I are knee-deep into purging our crap.
This is also not how-to. I’m just here to relate what MrsVintage and I are doing at the moment.
Tidying vs. death cleaning
Marie Kendo’s Tidying Up isn’t really death cleaning. It’s my understanding that she is big into minimalism and organization in general. But from what little bit I have gleaned, her concept of only keeping what “brings you joy” can be applied to letting go of things you really don’t need or want. So much of our clutter can be traced to pure sentimentality, thus it can be very difficult to let go off things, even if we know we have no use for it.
I draw the line at only keeping 30 books in the house though. My library brings me joy Ms. Kendo!
The Swedish practice of death cleaning is just that. Declutter your life while you’re still alive. Not only will alleviate the need for someone else having to come in and clean out your crap after you die, but there will be less crap for you to have to take care of while you’re still alive.
There are numerous books available on death cleaning (Amazon.com: gentle art of swedish death cleaning), but I’ve never picked one up. I think MrsVintage and I can figure this one out on our own.
A lifetime of accumulating shit
I just want to state that you will not see any before and after pictures in this post. MrsVintage and I are certainly not hoarders, but we do have some packrat like tendencies. And I don’t feel like showing those tendencies to the outside world.
I also want to be clear that this is not a how to post. I don’t consider myself an expert in any way, shape, or form on how to declutter your life. I’m just relating how MrsVintage and I have tackled our messes.
The first step is always the hardest.
Once we started thinking seriously about getting rid of stuff, we were immediately daunted. We had accumulated so much stuff over our 60+ years of living! Where do we even start? Procrastination set in.
Several years ago, MrsVintage read a post on Facebook that listed ways to declutter your closet. Step one was turning all the clothes hangers (with clothes on them of course) backwards on the bar. When you take an item off the hanger to wear, turn the hanger around to the right way. After a year, all the clothes that are hanging the wrong way are purged.
So that’s what we both did. And after one year, the clothes on the backwards hangers continued to occupy space in our closets. One year became two years, then three years, then four. And those backward hangers mocked us.
Finally, this past autumn I’d had enough, and I finally girded my loins and went through the backwards hangers. And what do you know, I ended up getting rid of almost all of the clothes on those hangers.
Once I finished, I figured since I was already there I might just as well clean off the top shelf of the closet. Several bags of Goodwill donations later and my side of the closet was looking pretty spiffy. But all those shoes, backpacks and miscellaneous junk on the floor were creating an intolerable situation. So, with bags in hand I purged years of detritus. Some of it was donated and was tossed. Then I vacuumed out several years of accumulated dust. Yuck.
Now my side of the closet was all tidy and sparkly.
Momentum builds momentum
Interestingly enough, once I got going I found myself really getting into a groove. Now it was time to tackle my nightstand. My nightstand has three drawers, and all of them were filled to the brim. There was quite a lot of sentimental stuff in them, so this was going to be tough.
Or so I thought.
I did one drawer a day, just so I would not get overwhelmed. I found birthday cards going all the way back to my twenties! Why was I hoarding old birthday cards? Dunno. I purged almost all of them. I kept a few that MrsVintage had given me that were special. I also kept some of the handmade ones the Vintage daughters made me when they were youngins.
Next up: report cards. My parents had saved every report card I ever had. When they cleaned out the junk out of their lives, they bequeathed them to me. Whereupon they sat in my nightstand for decades.
I was an indifferent student at best my whole childhood. Why was I keeping mementos of those painful years? How many times did I need to be reminded that I “failed to me expectations”? I didn’t, so I shitcanned them without even looking at them. I felt liberated!
By the time I was done, I had a small box marked for donations and an 3/4 full kitchen garbage back full of crap earmarked for the dump.
MrsVintage takes up the baton
All my efforts at purging got MrsVintage motivated. Together, we started going through our outdoor holiday decor. First up was the Halloween stuff. When the Vintage daughters were living at home, we used to go all out decorating the house for Halloween. We did such a good job that people from outside the neighborhood used to bring their kids to our house to trick-or-treats.
When the daughters moved out, I stopped. I felt there was just something creepy about an old man with no kids at home going balls-to-the wall decorating for a kid’s holiday. We asked the kids if they wanted any of it, and what they didn’t take was donated.
Next up was the outdoor Christmas decor. I don’t like setting up outdoor lights. It’s such a hassle. Besides, the only time MrsVintage and I see them is when we are coming home from work. Seems kind of pointless. So once again, we asked the girls what they wanted, and everything else was donated.
This is just Round 1
While we have made some pretty good progress, the truth is that this is just Round 1. MrsVintage and I going to take a break from all this death cleaning for a while, then go through everything again. You see, we just hit the low hanging fruit this go-around. We still have way more crap than we need. The next rounds are going to be much harder.
How about you? Have you death cleaned your life yet?
